We asked readers to channel their inner Carolyn Hax and answer this question. Some of the best responses are below.
Hi Carolyn, I have an ex-boyfriend of about two years who continues to behave in a way that suggests an unhealthy level of interest in my life. I’m very happily dating someone who I met six months after breaking up with my ex. At the time, my current boyfriend was separated (for reasons having absolutely nothing to do with me), and the divorce was pending. After seeing a photo of me with my boyfriend on a friend’s social media account, my ex sent several “follow” requests to my boyfriend through social media — which he ignored. Then, he tracked down my boyfriend’s ex-wife to reach out to her. After that, he contacted me with (demonstrably false) claims about my boyfriend’s past. This all seemed unhinged, and I dismissed it with one very curt response that I was doing fine and wanted no further contact.
Over a year later, my ex saw another social media post showing that my boyfriend and I had bought a house, and he emailed this information to my boyfriend’s ex-wife (they are now fully divorced). I’m disturbed by this level of fixation two years after we broke up, but I’m not sure what to do about it. This seems designed to provoke a response from me, and I think a response would be rewarding bad behavior. At the same time, someone should point out that this is deeply creepy and tell him to knock it off. What would you suggest?
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