Let’s say you’re the CEO of Fortunato Pharmaceuticals, a multi-billion-dollar company that’s been owned and operated by your family for generations. Your kids all lead their own, individual subsidiaries that you funded after they presented you with what was, in your judgment, a viable business concept and plan. The government is investigating the parent company because of a number of complaints about your biggest product, and the lead investigator advises you he has a source within the company who has been providing him with trade secrets and other proprietary information and who will testify as a witness during the prosecution of the company for a number of crimes. Do you:

A. Offer a $50,000,000 reward to whichever of your children identifies the whistleblower. B. Instruct your shadowy, gravel-voiced, in-house counsel and general fixer of loose ends (played brilliantly by Mark Hamill, by the way) to hide or destroy evidence. C. Kill your COO sister and stow her—Egyptian-mummy-like—in the basement of your childhood home to try to moot your deal with the devil. D. All of the above. E. None of the above.

In the limited series Fall of the House of Usher, which is very loosely based on the story of the same name by Edgar Allan Poe, main character Roderick Usher chooses D. That’s obviously the wrong answer, but the tactics implemented by Fortunato Pharmaceuticals provide an absurd mirror image of the right way to handle things if the Department of Labor, the...

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