In today’s episode of All Genocides Matter…Even The Non-Existent Ones, a Republican senator from Minnesota who is attempting to block a state bill that would require educators to give lessons on the Holocaust and the genocide of indigenous people justified his position by applying a Trump-like “very fine people on both sides” narrative to the historical wiping out of native people by European settlers. Apparently, the OG colonizers were also victims of genocide perpetrated by the people whose land they managed to steal while having their entire white race systematically exterminated.

Meet Minnesota State Sen. Steve Drazkowski (R).

Drazkowski is not a historian of Minnesota. He’s also not a historian of literally anything. Steve Drazkowski is a historian like Herschel Walker is a werewolf FBI cop. He’s an aficionado of history like Fox News is a bastion of ethical journalism. Drazkowski knows history like Dr. Dre knows how to perform open-heart surgery.

In fact, Drazkowski has such impressive encyclopedic knowledge of history that during his recent bid to block the legislation, SF 2442, he cited historical events so obscure that only the fake historians from the Caucasian Oppression Learning University MAGA Branch United States (COLUMBUS) organization know of it.

“You know—and I grew up in Wisconsin, so I’m not a historian of Minnesota, but I do understand that the genocides between the white people and the Indians going back included, kind of several genocides each way,”...

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